Ugh I’ve been eating healthy for like a month now and it’s ANNOYING. I want to go out for burgers – who’s with me?
In case you don’t have an In N Out Burger near you, or you don’t know what they are, I am here to educate you. In N Out makes the only decent fast food in America. They have a famously simple, unchanging menu. (Burgers, fries, shake. The end. Go away, chicken nuggets.) They put Bible verses on their wrappers. Each location has a pair of crossed palm trees out front, in case you don’t recognize the iconic red and white branding.
Fun fact: I put a reference to In & Out Burger in my first book, and my editor put the following comment in his notes: Five Guys is better.
I fired him immediately.
Kidding – he’s a really good editor. I would never fire him because he’s smarter than me, even though he has crap taste in burgers. The rest of America evidently agrees with my editor, but the rest of America is wrong, too. Julia Child was a fan, and kept a list of locations on her at all times, in case of emergency. Why would anyone argue with Julia?
There are a lot of copycat recipes for In N Out food on the interwebs, but that defeats the purpose, don’t you think? The point of going out for burgers is going out. The only one I think looks sorta good is this copycat sauce recipe. Which is essentially Thousand Island dressing, right?
They used to have a secret menu, but it’s really not a secret anymore. Basically, it’s just a way to customize their very limited items, but you will be amazed how many variations there are.
This is a fun list of what some famous chefs like to order there. Not one of them orders their burger the way I like mine: mustard grilled cheeseburger, protein style, with grilled onion and no sauce. I know, I’m the absolute worst. I’m like that idiot at Starbucks who orders a coffee with 47 modifications. But my order is fairly low-carb/low guilt and still tastes good. Then I usually just sneak a few of my kids’ fries. If you do order fries, they are best ordered well-done, and you have to add salt. Even my vegan son still eats at In N Out. He gets a vegetarian burger (which is just lettuce, tomato, and grilled onions on a bun) and fries with tomatoes, peppers, and grilled onions. See? They make everyone happy.
Are you hungry for a burger now? What’s your go-to order? Wherever you are getting your junk food this weekend, I hope you have a good one!
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Okay, now I’ve added eating at this place to my sacred “Apocolist”