The Scone Story

When I re-released Hungry Heart in March, I made a crack on Instagram that if you had the old version of the book, you should not make the scones. I was not kidding. Here's how I found the most embarrassing error of my writing career (so far): Before I published a book, I used to think that book signings would be the worst part of being an author. What if no one buys a book? What if no one even shows up? What if they do show up and I have to talk to them? I’m an introvert, FFS. I…

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Dream Dinner Party

I got antsy today and thought up my dream dinner party for you. Check this out: Dream Guests: Let's invite creative, smart people with a wicked sense of humor. Check out this especially charming story about the Celibate Love Affair of Nora Ephron and Mike Nichols. So I propose you invite them (I know they both died. Let's not ruin this fantasy with details. We'll also invite their spouses, Diane Sawyer and Nick Pileggi.) It ought to be raining outside, and we can sit around the table talking and laughing until all of a sudden another bottle of wine is…

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Soup Roundup

Ask any former waiter what food they can’t stand the sight of. We ALL have one item that turns our stomach because we served it a million times a day. In college, I worked at a café that was famous for its French Onion Soup. We had to scoop the soup into a crock, put a hard-toasted crouton on top, and hand it to the cooks. The cooks would throw a handful of parmesan on it, drape it with a giant slice of Gruyere, and then run it through the salamander (which is like a long broiler with a moving…

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Good Riddance 2017

The week between Christmas and New Year is weird, right? Everything feels off kilter. I stay up too late, sleep too late, am still eating cookies for breakfast and living in my house bra. Husband and the kids are off school and work so there are SO many people around all the time. I'm doing my best to stay off of social media because a) mental health and b) no, I can't actually think of another reason. It's entirely for mental health. So I'll keep this quick so you can get right back into your carb-fueled haze. We can worry about…

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Secrets of In & Out

Ugh I've been eating healthy for like a month now and it's ANNOYING. I want to go out for burgers - who's with me? In case you don't have an In N Out Burger near you, or you don't know what they are, I am here to educate you. In N Out makes the only decent fast food in America. They have a famously simple, unchanging menu. (Burgers, fries, shake. The end. Go away, chicken nuggets.) They put Bible verses on their wrappers. Each location has a pair of crossed palm trees out front, in case you don't recognize the iconic red and white…

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Books With The F Word

Recently, my husband asked me why I have so many books with the F word in the title. I didn't really have an answer. Because they are funny? Because they are good books? Because I love a good curse word? Fair warning: if you don’t like cursing, just stop reading right now. This post is not for you. I love cursing, and do it a lot. But even I get that this post is excessive. I'll catch you back here on Saturday for some fun links, and you have yourself a nice day. For the rest of you filthy animals: Today I have…

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Pray the Vegan Away

First Born Son likes to hang out with his gang of rebels and go rock climbing, body building, and go to vegan restaurants. They are living the thug life. And yes, it makes me laugh that the way he rebels against me is to be an athlete and eat vegetables. He went completely vegan for the month of April. My main goal was not to eat any of that fake meat garbage that is sold as health food, so I agreed to cook for him. It really was not all that hard. I had to plan ahead a little more than…

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The Tunnel Tree. Weird Things in Books. Spicy Shrimp.

Well, really. What a stupid week. I am soothed by small doses of hard liquor, large doses of dark chocolate, massive doses of books, and very select friends and family. Also, very super small doses of internet until I feel the existential dread tightening its noose around my neck. It goes like this: Ohmygodddddd the world is so awful where is my passport grab the Bug Out Bag never mind let's just stay here and die. Then Husband tells me to calm the hell down (in a nice way) and tells me to watch Tina Fey until I'm ready to stop acting like a…

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Thai Chicken Soup

This week Southern California was hit by a fierce rainstorm. We go a little bananas when it rains. At my house we even got HAIL! It was magical. I was craving something warm and nourishing for dinner that wasn't the usual chicken soup or spaghetti, but also easy to make and inexpensive and I didn't want to shop for any ingredients because I'm lazy and anyway it's illegal to drive when it rains here.   I'm so totally fun to live with.   As it happened, just as I was having all of these ridiculous and childish demands creative ideas,…

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